First off, facial hair rules. I was a Geology major in college and it was there that I learned the following...wihch shall henceforth be referred to as the 3 Laws of FHG (Prounounced "fhg"):
1. The amount of facial hair one has is DIRECTLY proportional to one's knowledge of the earth sciences.
2. Chicks dig facial hair. It means you can build them fires, kill woodland creatures, and make masculine babies - babies born with facial hair.
3. The amount of facial hair a gamer has is inversely proportional to his/her gaming skill (unfortunately).
Moving on, I want to clarify the KIND of facial hair I'm going for with the help of the following illustrations:
Definitely cool. This is the mother of all beards. If anyone knows this guy, ask him how he did it.
I don't care what any of you say, these guys obvisouly get a lot of tang.
The above represent what I plan to look like in a matter of weeks. Below are some examples of how NOT to grow facial hair. I won't look like this! And if I do, shoot me.
Careful what you say about this one...I swear I've seen this guy at Dibbz before and he looks like he would firebomb the store if he felt depressed.
No.
Scott will be giving me advice since he grows massive sideburns/chops with hairoids or something...Greg Dixon will also be giving me some pointers because he's sporting mutton chops and could therefore kick anyone's ass. So to sum up, this is a serious goal of mine and I'll need everyone's support. I get a regular 5 o'clock shadow and the next day it gets pretty visible...but it stops there and it's pretty splotchy in places. I'm convinced that what little facial hair I have simply needs some encouragement and the benefits of a positive attitude. So if you see me, make sure to tell me how awesome my thick beard looks...just referring to it as a beard will probably help.
Thanks guys.
